guest post: made to mother

Today I did a guest post over at Made to Mother!

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“Hey!” I brighten at the familiar face of my husband, Kyle, on the other side of the phone. He looks tired, but then again, so do I. We both are. Gone are the young, youthful eyes I once had, replaced by the exhausted eyes of a working mother.

I hear him call Sophie’s name, and she laughs. I feel a twinge of guilt, and tears well in my eyes. I miss her. I know we have chosen this path to keep Sophie out of daycare, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

From the moment Sophie was born we both knew that I was going to have to go back to work full time after maternity leave. I didn’t want to, but we just didn’t make enough money at the time to afford me staying home with her while Kyle worked. So he and I made the hard decision to work opposite shifts; I go to work in the day, while he is with Sophie, and when I come home to care for her, he leaves for the nightshift.

It takes a toll on our marriage, hardly ever seeing each other. And when we do, we spend most of the time tending to Sophie and sleeping to catch up on what rest we didn’t get the nights before.

I knew motherhood would be tough, but I was not prepared for the heart-wrenching decision to go to work every day knowing I wouldn’t see her until the evening. And then only getting a few hours with her before she goes to bed. But no matter how much time I spend with her, it never seems to be enough.

In a perfect world, we would be able to afford for one of us to stay at home and the other one to work full time, allowing us to have the evenings and weekends together. But our world is only perfect when we’re together.

“Are you listening to me?” Kyle asks, interrupting my thoughts. I look back at the screen and this time Sophie is in the frame looking at the camera......

Want to read the rest?  Finish reading over at Made to Mother .