My first thought was it's wrong. It's broken. It's a false positive. But it is rare to get one of those. Especially since I am nearly 3 weeks late. Just in case though I took another one.
Clear Blue Digital. Well it came out with the same result - positive. Since this wasn't my first morning urine I believed that this test was just as accurate. According to a conception calendar online I'm almost 7 weeks. Which means I haven't been the most careful about drinking. I've celebrated finishing college classes a couple of weeks with some drinks. Gone out with friends to bars where people were smoking. All of my choices in the past two weeks have been closely examined.
I honestly thought it couldn't happen to me. I mean pregnancy? But it fit, all of a sudden, the symptoms hit me like a train. The bloating, the weepiness, the mood swings, the hot flashes, just every symptom I had ignored came popping up.
How could I have not known I was pregnant? I suppose I was traveling the river of De Nile. The first person I told I didn't really tell. I went just to him asking him one question: "does this look like a positive to you?" I burst into his room like the devil out of hell at 6am in the morning. Of course my roommate was sleeping and looked at me like I was crazy. "What?"
"Does this look like a positive to you?"
"Yeah I guess," and his answer only proved what I wasn't ready to accept just yet. It was a positive response.
Meaning there was a child growing inside me right now. A child I hadn't even planned on. But someone I had already started to love and care for.
My mom didn't cry when I told her but I certainly did. I thought maybe she'd think I was a failure. A disappointment instead she just hugged me and let me cry it out. She told me that she would help me either way: adoption, abortion or if I kept it. I knew the moment I saw pregnant on that test that only one choice was in my mind. I would keep the baby. It may have been an accident but the baby was made out of love.
When I told Kyle we were in the middle of a restaurant with tons of other people around us. We were at lunch for my graduation and when I went to the bathroom I asked him to come with me (odd I know) and when we were near the bathroom I said, "I have to tell you something, and I know this is totally the wrong place to say it, but I can't keep sitting next to you without saying anything," I took a breath, "I'm pregnant." I couldn't even look him in the eyes as I said it.
His first response was to look completely shocked. His second response was to hug me tightly. He didn't say anything just yet. I think he was at a lost for words. He pulled away slightly to look at me and at this time I was holding his hands and I was still looking downward when I said, "I'm sorry," but before I could finish that thought, Kyle had released my hands and both of his hands went to my neck and lifted my chin up and he kissed me. It wasn't a passionate kiss, it was gentle but meaningful kiss.
"I love you, no matter what." Kyle looked me right in the eyes as he said it and gave me one last kiss on the forehead before he let me go to the bathroom and he returned to the table.
And that's why this blog was started. the documentation and journey of our pregnancy and future adventures of parenthood.
