babies don't keep

I'm going to be real with you guys, team meeting. I'm not ready for Sophie to go into daycare.  I'm just not.  I told myself I would be, and that it would be okay, but I'm really just not okay with it.  We were supposed to put her in daycare when she turned a year, then a year and four months, then we pushed it back until August of this year, that's when she would be a year and half.

Well we're in August, and she's not in daycare.  We spent all of this weekend talking about it and hemming and hawing at the best thing to do for her and for us.  We kept her out of daycare because well, daycare can cost as high as $1000.  And that's like renting a small apartment.  We also haven't found a daycare that we're in love with.  I'm just not ready and  I can't accept the fact that my child is indeed growing up.

babies don't keep

It seems like yesterday Kyle and I were wading through the deep end of parenthood.  We were brand new parents just meeting Sophie.  She was so small and so calm.  I was  so happy to meet her, Kyle was so happy, we both were.  Nothing could describe the first time we met Sophie. She fit in my arms so perfectly, and in her father's.  She was just so tiny.  I remember rocking her to sleep in the hospital, kissing her on her forehead and holding her close.

babies don't keep

She fit perfectly in my arms for being rocked to sleep.  She cuddled into Kyle when he held her while she slept.  I remember her sleeping on our chests and gripping our shirts while sleeping.  I miss that.  I miss the moments where she fit on my chest perfectly.  She loved holding our hands while taking in the world.  She laughed when we made funny faces and cried when she wasn't held.  Sophie loved snuggles and naptime.  She would just lay there making sure both of us were within arm reach.

babies don't keep

She loved her bouncer and loved being able to watch us in the kitchen, happily playing with all of the gadgets and stuffed animals attached to it. I can still remember Sophie taking her first real steps right into Daddy's arms, giggling the whole way.  And when he caught her, she snuggled into his arms for a few moments before getting up and trying again.  Days have passed since Sophie just sat and watched the cat running around her laughing as Fluffy would flick her tail gently on her legs.  Now Sophie just chases after the cat looking for hugs and cuddles.

babies don't keep

Sophie can't even fit in all of her cute clothes anymore.  Seems just like last week I was telling Kyle how small Sophie was compared to other babies, and now she's so huge compared to them.  She loves sitting in our laps and watching videos of herself.  She has a grand old time chasing Fluffy, climbing up onto the couch and digging into things.  Sophie loves carrying my purse around, and just hanging out in the kitchen with mommy.

Sophie, you're 18 months old. a far cry from the newborn you once were.  But you will always be our baby.